The Hole

Lee and Reid have never fought, in fact they have always taken up for one another. So, to say that I was stunned and totally speechless about what happened last week is an understatement.


It all started over a baseball cap; a nasty, stinky ball cap. Never mind that Lee, Reid and David all wear one another’s shirts, shoes, socks and jackets. Someone is always looking for some article of clothing that someone has worn and is now dirty or has been worn and left at some forgotten location.

The cap is Lee’s but, he hadn’t worn it in weeks. Reid found it, ran it through the dishwasher and started wearing it. Naturally, that meant that Lee “had been looking for it.” The altercation on Monday afternoon was two brothers arguing. Tuesday morning - Lee started looking for the hat. Reid had put in on the chair in the computer room without telling Lee. Lee, not knowing that Reid had given up the hat, goes upstairs to get it. Before Reid could tell Lee where the hat was, words were exchanged. Then, more words were exchanged. Bad words were exchanged. Raised voices turned to shouting and yelling. Let me just say; two angry alpha males in one house ain’t pretty.

I decided to stay out of it. My reasoning - they were old enough the work it out themselves. At least I thought they were. I sorely misjudged the depth of their anger. When I walked into the foyer, Lee was yelling at Reid to come downstairs and he would kick his butt (that part has been edited). Reid was at the top of the stairs yelling he wasn’t stupid and he wasn’t going to give in to Lee’s bullying. I’ll say that was one of the few smart decisions he has made in a while since Lee is about six inches taller and 60 pounds heavier than Reid. Before I could say anything to either of them, Lee drew back and punched the wall. I was even more stunned than before. I just looked at him and before I could utter a word, he said, “I’ll fix it.” The only thing I could think of to say was; “You think?”

I worried all day. They had said some nasty and hurtful things to one another. I called to check on both of them at different times. Each one said they were ok. But, being the worrier I am, I didn’t really believe either of them. It’s been said; “the heaviest thing to carry is a grudge” and I was certain that the angry interaction between Lee and Reid would have long lasting implications on their relationship. So, imagine my surprise, when at 4 o’clock, I learned that Reid and Lee are hanging out together. Really? Hours earlier the atmosphere had been “an eye for an eye” rather than “turn the other cheek.”

I asked Reid about it when he got home that night. He looked at me, smiled and said; “Mom, it’s a guy thing; we don’t hold grudges.” I’m pretty sure that I looked at him like he had two heads; those words came from the same person who, 12 hours earlier, was so mad that he was visibly shaking.

I watched as the words of Mahatma Gandhi came to life last Tuesday; “The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong.” Lee and Reid had more strength than I gave them credit for having. I’m glad I didn’t interfere because doing so would have deprived them of the opportunity to experience the freedom of forgiveness. It serves us well to quickly let go of past hurts so we are more available to experience the joy of the present.

Copyright © 2011 Judith Bell

A Thing Called Love

Philosophers, theologians, poets, authors and playwrights have tried to put a definition to the thing we call love. With Valentine’s Day right around the corner, women across the United States are hoping that the man in their lives will remember the roses and chocolates. Approximately 189 million stems of roses, most of them red and over 1.1 billion boxed chocolates weighing 58 million pounds will be purchased on Cupid’s favorite day.

What is this thing that we call love? The musical group Queen sang about love.

This thing called love I just can't handle it

This thing called love I must get round to it

I ain’t ready

Crazy little thing called love

Webster defined love as: (1) strong affection for another arising out of kinship or personal ties (2) attraction based on affection and tenderness felt by lovers (3) : affection based on admiration, benevolence, or common interests (3) unselfish loyal and benevolent concern for the good of another. Webster’s definition is just that, a definition. Though well articulated, Webster’s definition doesn’t capture the essence of love or its importance to the human race.

Martin Luther King, Jr. defined love as, “…the only force capable of transforming an enemy into friend.” Rabindranath Tagore said, “Love is not a mere sentiment. Love is the ultimate truth at the heart of creation.” Elizabeth Barrett Browning penned these words about love; “I love you not only for what you are, but for what I am when I am with you. I love you not only for what you have made of yourself, but for what you are asking of me. I love you for that part of me you bring out.”  Love is nebulous and perhaps it is only meant to be accepted and not understood.

Earlier this week I received the following link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_detailpage&v=nxWZ6IgqRfY

I believe, after you listen to the words of thirteen- year- old Logan, there will be little doubt as to what true love is. Click now, sit back and wait to be wowed.  A thirteen-year-old Nebraska boy defined love for us. Quite simply, God is love.

Copyright © 2011 Judith Bell

Punxsutawney Phil

Punxsutawney Phil did not see his shadow and has all of us looking for signs of an early spring. Not to bust any bubbles, but according to the Stormfax Weather Almanac and a review of the records since 1887 Phil is only 39% accurate. Not such a great record, but there are a couple of interesting lessons to be learned from Phil.

It’s no wonder because the way the whole ground hog shadow works is this: Phil is a kept groundhog. His handlers, known as the “Inner Circle,” remove Phil from his cage in the Gobbler’s Knob library. Phil is given the opportunity to see or not see his shadow and then tells his handler, in a secret language, whether or not he has seen his shadow; after which the handler makes the announcement about the coming of spring. One last bit of lore is that there is one, and only one, Punxsutawney Phil. That means that Phil is 125 years, give or take a couple of years. Phil’s life is extended because he is fed an “elixir of life” that extends his life another seven years. Phil is one lucky groundhog!

The downside of the whole groundhog brouhaha is that in order to see a shadow you have to be looking down. Plus, living life in the shadows doesn’t create a particularly hopeful perspective. Helen Keller once said; “Keep your face to the sunshine and you will not see the shadows.”

Lesson #1: God doesn’t live in the shadows. Psalm 27 reminds us that God is hope for today and tomorrow and our confidence can be found in the light of his love. “The Lord is my light and my salvation-whom shall I fear?”

Lesson #2: There is no fountain of youth or magic life extending elixir. The only elixir of life is the living water of Christ. Remember the story of the woman at the well (John 4:1-26)? Jesus tells the woman; “…but whoever drinks of the water I give him will never thirst. Indeed, the water I give him will become in a him a spring of water welling up to eternal life.”

Lesson #3: You can’t predict when spring will come. The only thing we can be assured of is the everlasting love of God and his assurance that there is a spring.

I don’t have much faith in Punxsutawney Phil’s prediction of an early spring; but I do have faith that God will be there when spring decides to show up.

Copyright © 2011 Judith Bell